150 Moments of Laughter, Pain and Friendship
by FallenHope-Angel
Summary: "You know being your best friend means we live through chaos, deal with the insanity of our lives and fight to live life."
1. Chapter 1

**150 Moments of Laughter, Pain, and Friendship**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood in any way shape or form. I am simply borrowing the characters.**

**Co-written with and dedicated to Fallen Crest**

**Summary: **Edward Elric and Ling Yao. A match made in hell. How these two friends go through life full of insanity and friendship. Cannon, Au, moments all across the time line.

_Friends: Gives you their umbrella in the rain._

"It's raining now. I told you it was going to rain Mustang." Ed grumbled as he took the phone without permission and dialed the hotel room he and Al were in.

"Yeah Al, I'm stuck here for a while... I'll get there soon okay." Ed hung the phone up and sat on the couch staring out the window.

"Hey chief. You can borrow my umbrella." Ed looked at Havoc and smiled briefly when he saw that Havoc had gone outside for a smoke break even in this weather.

"Thanks Havoc." Ed took the soaked umbrella and left into the harsh rain without a care.

_Best friends: Takes yours and says, "Can't catch me!"_

"Finally! Almost there." Ed muttered and picked up his pace only to run face first into someone. Both fell to the floor and the umbrella landed in the others hands. Ed swept his bangs out of his face to see the other person standing and holding up his hand and taking shelter underneath the umbrella.

"Thanks. Sorry for running-"

"Geez Ed. What are you doing out in this weather?" Ed squinted to see Ling grinning cheerfully from under Havoc's umbrella even though he was soaking wet.

"Nothing. Now give me the umbrella I gotta get back." Ed blinked as he was being soaked by the rain again.

"Mm, no." Ed stared stunned as Ling took off in the rain laughing.

"Can't catch me!" Ling shouted and Ed screamed before chasing Ling uncaring that he was soaking wet.

Soon Ed was laughing as he caught up to Ling and realized they were at the hotel.


	2. Chapter 2

_FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail._  
"Fullmetal," Mustang said, brow twitching.  
"Colonel." Ed said, scowling at him.  
Mustang glared through the bars at his subordinate. "How did you, a State Alchemist, get put in jail?"  
"Things happen." Ed snapped back.  
"I should let your stay in here for a night, but your brother is worried." Mustang growled. "But I want a full written report tomorrow, Fullmetal."  
"I think I would rather stay in jail and think about what I've done." Ed retorted.  
"Too bad, you've already been bailed out."

_BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"_  
Ed sat, twitching on the bench of the jail cell with an over excitable prince by him.  
"That was awesome! Let's do it again!" Ling shouted, hugging Ed. "Can we? Can we?"

Earlier that day:

Ed was still smiling as he remembered Gracia saying he was just like Hughes. Showing ff pictures of his adorable, precious baby brother.

Ed was walking down the street to get to the train station when Ling ran into him making both fall to the floor. Ling scrambled to his feet dragging Ed to his feet and took off running holding Ed's hand.

"LING!"

Ed shouted struggling to keep up with Ling's pace because he kept tripping.

"No time talk. RUN!" Ling screamed pulling Ed into a store and jumping behind a rack of clothing. Ed stared at Ling as both panted in exhaustion.

"What... Happened..." Ed gasped out and Ling grinned sheepishly.

"I'm on the run from the military..." Ed face palmed.

"Again? Wasn't it bad enough when you snuck into the country illegally? What did you do this time? And why are you making me an accomplice?" Ed half-shouted.

"Shh, shh," Ling hushed quickly, peeking out from the clothes. When he was sure it was clear, he looked back at Ed.

Ed glared at him. "What did I do to deserve getting dragged into this?"

"Well...Mustang." Ling said.

Ed's eye twitched. "What did you do to piss him off? And why am I getting involved? I no longer have anything to do with them so I can't protect you from them!"

"But they are still your friends, aren't they?" Ling asked quickly. "They won't arrest their friend, will they?"

Ed's eyes narrowed. "Wanna bet?"

"Anyway I'm here because someone from my country came here to kill you." Ed stared at Ling trying to see if he was lying but he just couldn't see a lie on Ling's face.

"What did I do this time?" Ed half whined half questioned.

"Helped me become the next emperor of Xing."

"Awww, come on. Seriously?" Ed groaned, pulling at his hair. "How did my name even get pulled into that?"

"Well, remember when I said I would put you in Xing's history as the man who made a prince eat a boot?" Ling asked.

"Yeah, it was when we were inside Gluttony." Ed said, horror growing.

"Well, per your request, I also added that you helped me become the emperor." Ling told him.

Ed groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I hate you. I hate you so much right now."

"I was just following your request." Ling said.

"I almost don't want to ask, but why is my military chasing you?" Ed asked.

"No you don't and I'd rather not say why. Just help me find your assassin and I can run back to Xing where Lan Fan hopefully stayed taking over for me." Ed snickered and Ling looked at Ed who was pointing behind him where Lan Fan was kneeling with a scowl.

"Lan Fan..."

"My Lord you are now Emperor. You can not just leave whenever you want." Ed looked around in unease.

"Yup let's go." Ed ushered Ling and Lan Fan out the back.

"I hope you also realize that I can't make a weapon anymore." Ed pointed out.

Ling shot him a frown. "You mean you don't carry a weapon on you? How do you protect yourself?"

"I am a martial artist as well," Ed retorted. "AND, I don't carry weapons because this, assassins and making enemies! Yeah, I don't do that anymore, Ling!"

"I thought you still did." Ling muttered.

"Edward has old enemies after him. He doesn't make any new ones. The military takes care of most of the threats." Lan Fan said giving Ed a short sword and nodding as Ed tested the weight by making a few jabs and slices at invisible opponents. Ed put the sword at his hip the way Ling does and continues leading the two Xingese people down the alleyways. He entered a long forgotten building in disrepair often used as a hideout for runaway teens.

"Here should be safe for a few minutes. The military patrol should be passing... Now." Ed listened to the multitude of foot steps and grinned.

"No explosions or destructions because I don't have alchemy so this should go smoothly for once." Ed said only to roll out of the way of spikes.

"What the hell?" Ed shouted, looking for where the spikes came from. "My assassin wouldn't happen to be an Alkahestrists , would he?"

Ling coughed. "Well..."

"You couldn't have told me that sooner?" Ed growled. "Great. See? This is why I didn't want to come back to Central!" He jumped to the side avoid more spikes that were coming at him. He landed in a crouch on the ground and looked around for his attacker.

"I quit this life and look at where it gets me. Assassins from a foreign country for something I did months ago!" Ed frowned when he couldn't see anyone and snuck a glance at Ling and Lan Fan who relaxed and looked around.

"She's gone for now. We need to keep moving." Ling said and looked outside. Ed frowned when Ling said she but otherwise didn't react.

"There he is! The foreigner from Xing!" Ling squeaked and ran up the nearest stairs while Ed followed exasperation on his and Lan Fan's face.

"Here we go again." Lan Fan nodded at Ed's words and ran after them. Once they got to the roof they began roof jumping.

"So where are we going?" Asked Ed scanning the streets for the military.

"We're getting you as far from Central as possible. Our intelligence agency heard news of a bomb. If you stay it will go off. Lan Fan go dismantle it." Ling ordered and Ed shrugged as he knew Lan Fan could handle a Xingese bomb better than he could.

"Ed, we're borrowing that car!" Ed sighed as Ling jumped down a three story building and into a car. Ed followed with an exhilarated grin.

"Sorry! We'll bring this back!" Ed shouted pulling the car into reverse and driving down the road.

"You can drive, right?" Ling asked wearily.

Ed shot his friend an insane grin. "You should have asked that before we jumped into the car." He slammed his foot on the gas, taking the car flying down the road.

Ling, despite himself, started laughing. "Just don't get us killed! That would defeat the purpose here, Ed!"

"I've had a few driving lessons, but I don't have a license!" Ed said as he made a sharp turn. In the middle of the turn, he almost hit another car so he had to swerve quickly.

"Who taught you in those few lessons?" Ling asked.

"Hawkeye and Mustang." Ed replied, grinning.

Ling laughed. "Your crazy driving makes sense then!"

"Where are we going?" Ed asked. Ling just reached over tugging the wheel to the right making them go off the main road.

"Out of town away from people. This assassin takes collateral damage to get her prey."

"So I'm prey now? Just like the good old days." Ed muttered sarcastically swerving around a group of soldiers and grinning cheekily as he saw Jean Havoc who hadn't seen him. Ling on the other hand pulled out a map and told him to turn right at the next street.


	3. Chapter 3

_Friends would be on the witness stand telling the judges what they want to know._

_Best friends would be on trial beside you making it worse for both of you._

When Roy Mustang was called to testify against Edward Elric he didn't bother lying to the judge. Ed had quit the military and retired to a simple life.

"Edward was part of my division under my command. He was the only child to change the military through the state alchemist program and as such i was lenient with him."

Ed growled from where he's was slouched in his chair with his hands cuffed to a leg on the table. Ling sat beside him in a similar position though it was due to boredom from the trial. 'I honestly thought they would at least stand up for you.' Ling whispered to Ed who snorted quietly scowling at Mustang.

"What can you tell us about Mr. Elric now?" Mustang grinned.

"The kids a punk. But he hasn't caused any trouble or property damage since he left the military." Ed had a small smile on his face that vanished thrust as quick as it appeared. Ling saw this and relaxed before grinning evilly behind his hands as a thought entered his mind.

"The court calls Ling Yao to the stand." Ling rose gracefully and walked to the stand wondering when Mustang was dismissed. Must have been while he was plotting.

"State your full name."

"Ling Yao." Ling said with an easy grin and Ed looked at the smile and dropped his head onto the desk knowing Ling was about to totally screw them both over.

"You understand the reason you are now on trial correct?" Ling nodded and the judge sighed bring a paper to his face.

"The charges against you and Mr. Elric are as follows: running from the military, car theft, assault on military personal, bomb threats, verbal assault, and destruction of public property. With the additional charge of stepping on the face of a battalion of soldiers for Mr. Yao."

"That was fun." Ling said smiling at the judge who looked at Ling before shaking his head and looking away. Mustang smirked at what Ling said. He watched him take the time to step on every face. Ed bowed his head and groaned.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself? It was fun?" Ling nodded his head and Ed face palmed. Ed glared venomously at Ling who explained that he snuck into Amestris to protect Ed from an alkehestrist assassin who had planted a bomb in Central to take him out and anyone else in the vicinity.

He told them about jumping into a car and having Ed drive them to the outskirts of town even though they were being followed by the military and how Ling made some mistake when reading the map leading to several near accidents and some unfortunate explosions that had nothing to do with them but the assassin.

"I have no choice but to sentence you two-"

"Wait! I demanded to be extradited to Xing!" Ling shouted stunning everyone in the court room Ed looked panicked as he realized what Ling was out to do but Ling silenced him by kicking him in the chest to knock the breath out of him.

"On what grounds do you wish to be extradited? And you know Mr. Elric can't accompany you."

"Yes he can and he will. I am the emperor of Xing." Ling smiled as Lan Fan entered the room bearing the royal seal of the emperor and a Xingese lawyer. "It's legit, Mr. Yao and Mr. Elric will be extradited three days from now at noon."

"Oh, what?! Tell me that can't be legal!" Ling smirked at Ed who huffed and turned away from Ling to stare at Mustang who smirked at him as well.

"You're all against me!"

_Three days later_

Ed stood in the palace of the emperor Ling who grinned at the way Ed was glaring at anyone who so much as looked at him. "He's the one who made the emperor eat a boot." A girl whispered and Ed blushed faintly as he walked with Ling to the dining hall where a feast had been prepared for their return to Xing. Well Ling's return and Ed's first visit since he always found an excuse not to come.

"Welcome to Xing Ed." Ling smiled softly and Ed had a smile grin on his lips as he lifted his right hand and Ling tapped it with his left.


	4. Chapter 4

_Only a best friend would hijack a car with you._

Havoc's cigarette fell out of his mouth when he saw Ed driving a reportedly stolen car with the Xingese emperor giving him directions from a map. He quickly dove out of the way as did many others. Two military vehicles along with a nondescript black car were following. The nondescript one moving in ways that suggested Mustang or Hawkeye was behind the wheel.

Hawkeye regretted teaching Edward to drive as he swerved around corners, people, cats. But there was nothing she could do now except keep up and find out why he had stolen a car and gone joy riding.

"LING YOU IDiOT!" Ed could be heard shouting as Ed drove backwards out of a dead end alley and past Hawkeye who smirked at his skill. Who said she couldn't grin in pride at teaching Ed how to take a car and out drive his pursuers?

Ed and Ling were off again driving recklessly to get out of town when Lan Fan jumped into the car holding a dismantled bomb that Ed stared at for a few seconds longer than necessary. "The bomb has been taken care of my Lord."

"Good job Lan Fan." Ling grinned and pointed to Ed's left making Ed tug on the wheel harshly to make the turn clipping a pole and denting the car.

"Point before the turn so I have time to make it!" Ed screamed as he turned again barely missing a stray cat. He offered up a pray to his nonexistent beliefs that Al never heard of this.

_A friend would let you get arrested on your own._

Ed was slightly twitchy as he jimmied the lock of the car. Fuery was nervously waiting besid him as he kept an ear on the transmissions. They quietly got in and pushed the car for a few feet so it was away from the house.

"Start the car! They found out the Colonel's lie!" Ed started the car and drove at full speed while Fuery prayed for his life. bullets rained on the car and Ed gasped quietly before turning down a different street and stopping the car leaning down and having Fuery do the same as their enemies drove right by them. Ed was clutching his shoulder tightly with a grimace. "I got hit..." Ed admitted quietly. he knew better than to keep a bullet wound to his self.

"How bad is the bleeding?" In answer to the question Ed passed out and Fuery looked guiltily at Ed. "I'm sorry I can't carry you. I'll come back with help." Fuery left Ed after hastily tying a tourniquet around Ed's shoulder to stop the bleeding. He ran cursing the fact that they were on radio silence only allowed to listen to their enemies.

Ed woke up in a jail cell with medical equipment and handcuffed to the bed with a doctor standing over him.


	5. Chapter 5

_Friends: Will simply go to bed at a sleepover_

Ed couldn't believe Major Armstrong! Saddling him with two bodyguards. Maria Ross and Denny Brosh. Their respective titles: Second Lieutenant and Sergeant.

After a tough day of trying to crack Dr. Marcoh's notes Ed and Al retired to their room with Brosh and Ross. Ross made are the room was secure then closed her eyes to sleep and Ed a sighed suddenly feeling lonely even with Al sitting on the couch in front of him. he was close. So close to the philosopher's stone. So close to bringing Al back from the gate. So close to giving Al a normal life again. And when that happened Ed would kiss this life bye-bye!

_Best Friends: Will sleepover, not go to bed until 3, then keep you up another hour because you refuse to say 'Good Night' to one of them. They will attempt to get it out of you by kicking you, lying on top of you, taking your blanket and pillow, etc._

Ed collapsed face first onto the sheets and wondered how the plan to capture the Homunculus would turn out. Maybe if he rested a bit he could stop being stressed about it.

Ed was thrown off the bed when someone else jumped on it. Ed sat up stunned to see Ling grinning at him from his bed. While he was laying on the floor. After being thrown off.

"Ling!" Ed screamed in anger and tried to tackled the idiotic prince only to land on his empty bed. Ed whirled around to find Ling standing where he had stood just seconds ago.

"You didn't even say good night to me. You said it to Al and Winry but you didn't say it to me." Ling whined and received a pillow to the face. He looked at Ed wide eyed unable to believe that that childish action was done by him. Ling grabbed the pillow then threw it back at Ed who was lying back down. He ripped away the blanket Ed pulled over his head to ignore him and bounced on the bed saying "Ed." Over and over until Ed kicked him off the bed.

"GOOD NIGHT LING!" then curled into a ball with his reclaimed blanket.


	6. Chapter 6

_Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back._

Ed glared at Havoc for a full minute.

Ed gave Havoc his coat reluctantly but knew it was necessary. He could never leave a woman with a see through shirt standing in a room with Perverts. He watched Havoc wrap the red coat around the woman's shoulders and left to get started on his report while Havoc escorted the woman the the nearest car.

Three days later Havoc brought Ed's coat back only it smelled like women's perfume since Havoc didn't wash it his self. Ed received a kiss on the cheek from the pretty woman but didn't react as Havoc had.

"No problem. Good luck to you." Was all he said to her as he pulled on his coat and left to do some research.

_Best friends: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad...here's a tissue._

"But Ed I needed it!" Ling whined from where he lay huddled underneath all the blankets glaring at the snow. Ling looked away when he saw Ed's coat pass the window. Ed stood in front of him with his hands on his hips.

"Idiot Prince who told you to go out there?! It's below zero!" Ed growled before returning to the fireplace in the Mustang's living room. He ditched Ling to get some information that Mustang had before a snowstorm came out of nowhere leaving him trapped as he had left his coat back at the hotel.

"But...But...I just wanted to hang with my best friend!" Ling cried, hanging onto an annoyed Ed. Ling shivered as he remembered seeing the snow and running off with Ed's coat to Mustang's house only put it on halfway there from the cold and almost getting run over losing the coat as the wind whipped it off his body. It was gone before he could open his eyes so he ran to Mustang's home to get warm.

"Idiot!" Ed yelled, slamming a fist into Ling's head. "Are you trying to freeze to death?!"

Ling smirked and stared at Ed. Ed froze and looked at Ling warily.

"What?" Ed asked defensively.

"You care. You care about what happens to me."

"COLONEL!" Ed screamed, shoving Ling off of him. "There's a stupid prince here!"

"Fullmetal!" Mustang yelled down the stairs. "I am not your parent for you to complain to. Deal with your friends on your own!"

Ed grinned maliciously at Ling who looked at Ed slightly nervous. Ed tackled Ling and wrapped him tight in the blankets before leaving him in front of the fire to get warm while he took a nap on the couch.

Ling smiled and snuggled deeper into his blankets and went to sleep.


End file.
